Confessions Of A Teenage Bitch


It’s no secret that high school will change you.

It certainly changed me from the minute i walked through those gates in 2007, as i grinned up at my headmaster like a cheshire cat (suck up), unaware of what i had just got myself into.

Now if you’re one of those people that say “High school was the best time of my life!” then sorry. Your lifes shit. And you should probably just stop reading this.

High school is hell on earth and it’s even worse when you’re a girl.

That’s because us girls have to deal with these kind of bitches mean-girls

As a 13 year old girl in high school, the only things you really care about are boys and how you look. And if you’re like me you may also give food some deep thought too.

It seems that the longer you’re there, the harder it gets to remember who you was.

By my second year i was almost unrecognisable with purple hair and bushy eyebrows (nice one mum). Thankfully all pictures from this time in my life have been deleted so lets pretend it never happened.

Anyways… once your image has been completely transformed and you’re officially a poster girl for AWKWARD and NEVER BEEN KISSED. You can move on to your next mission…


In high school boys were mean and as you get older you realise most of them still are.

No one knows why this is, it’s just a fact. They really ought to teach it in biology.

Now as you may of guessed purple hair, bushy eyebrows, braces and a bad case of acne never got me a boyfriend. SHOCKER. Not to mention my iron board chest and awkward personality.

I wish someone would of told me that these traits would of been considered cool in the near future.

Anyway at the time, there was only one way i could get a lads attention and that seemed to be…


Ah, this is where things really did begin to get messy and i do mean that quite literally.

Nothing excited me more than friday night when my mates cousin would go into our local shop for us.

I mean, nothing screamed more fun than throwing up sidekick in a park. Or subby. Depends if it was pissing down or not.

This idiotic behaviour got boys attention alright and thats because boys ARE idiots. Trust a girl who has 4 brothers.

At the time i thought they were suddenly interested because i was badass.

I mean who else can down a bottle of CID in under 2 minutes?

But now when i look back it was probably because these lads were so ugly and the only chance they could even get a snog off a girl was when she was off her head. Bless.

My first kiss was a disaster.

New years eve. Sounds romantic? Think again.

Chapped lips, snotty nose, a bottle of jacques (cringe) Let’s move on.


Getting your heart broken is sadly something we all have to go through at one point in our lives.

I remember the first time i got my heart broken. It was the moment i began to hate men.

OK, yeah i was 15. But i was old enough to know that the pain in my chest wasn’t just because i had a really massive crush on someone.

Ok maybe it was. But at the time i thought i was in love so let me play this small violin in peace.

No i’ll admit i’ve never actually been in love. So i don’t believe you have to be to get your heart broken.

Heart break can fall under many categories, such as mine…unrequited love.

Something tells me it was the purple hair but i’ll let it go.

Anyway, this dark time can be conquered when you have the right friends to belt out ‘I DON’T NEED A MAN’ by the Pussycat Dolls with on repeat


As i was growing up i wish i knew the importance and truth behind “You are who you surround yourself with” it would of saved me a lot of time finding out who my true friends were.

Like i already said being a girl in high school was tough and i found the only way to really survive was to be a bitch.

I wasted a lot of time hanging around with girls who i knew i never really liked but for some reason being with them made me feel powerful.

Then of course you leave high school (Thank God) and you realise that actually nobody gives a damn who you were friends with.

And having good grades is actually a good thing. In fact, if i could go back in time i would of embraced the nerd part of me which i kept hidden.


It’s sad but true when i say you can almost guess how certain people will turn out once they leave school. They tried too hard to look like they didn’t care that they eventually didn’t.

I remember once being at a pub with friends when a guy turned to me and said “What! YOU go to college?” i have never been so insulted in my entire life.

But i guess i couldn’t blame him. He was judging me from the image i had created for myself in those 5 years of hell. An image that was never actually me.

I think it’s important to have ambitions.

I always get so angry when i see people comment on how education is a waste of money and time.

Fair enough it’s ridiculously expensive and i don’t personally believe that knowledge should be for sale.

But i can’t say that it’s a waste of money or time.

I have spent the last 7 months living in London but to put it into simpler terms. I have spent the last 7 months living.

Not only have I made friends from all different walks of life. I have seen more of the world.

And let me tell you no amount of debt will make me regret doing it.

So, if you’re thinking about dropping out of college or not going to university then my advice would be to really reconsider those decisions.

Fair enough it’s not for everyone, but if you’re from a small town like me with a working class-middle class background then grab the opportunity with both hands because it may be your only way out.

1)Never dye your hair purple.
2)Don’t kiss ugly boys, it stays with you forever.
3)Surround yourself with good people, they will rub off on you and make you an even better person.
4)Always avoid drinking sidekick (I prefer vodka redbull these days).
5)Don’t be a bitch. No one likes a bitch. Fact.
6) Stay in school


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